Zorg

Zorg is a regular poster on The TLDR, most famous for his repetitive flames and pathetic real life. Zorg is most noted for being raged 24/7 on the forums and insulting everyone all the time, this garnered him a Pintie award for Best Iceburns. Though it should be noted that the Pintie awards are a sham controlled by a poster whose goal in the world is to destroy humor (Pintsized), thus Zorg's award makes sense. Zorg takes Zoloft because he has Social Anxiety and at the age of 20 hasn't even been on a date with a girl. His pathetic real life makes his flames laughable considering that whenever he flames you, you can take comfort in knowing you'll at least get laid before your death. Zorg also loves Guro, Baconators, and is a musical Nazi - pushing his shitty indie music on everyone.

Early Posting Career

Zorg started posting on the internet at The Vestibule, a free off-topic forum at IGN. With the massive failure that is The Vestibule it's a wonder that Zorg didn't stay there. After numerous bans at The Vestibule Zorg decided to troll various teen forums with his friend and expert troll Michaelbuble, the two owned Teenspot in early 05 until it became old. Afterwards MichaelBuble had shown Zorg the YTMND forums and the two started posting there at a time when it was not fail (yes, there was a time). At the same time Zorg and Buble had started playing World of Warcraft. Upon YTMND's descent into failure an online friend on WoW had told Zorg about The TLDR and in Decemeber 2005 Zorg joined The TLDR and has posted there since.

Zorg on the TLDR

Zorg's early TLDR days were marked mostly of being an all around dick to everyone. Some posters, specifically the momless spic Burkek took an instant disliking to Zorg and hazed him frequently. At the time of Zorg's arrival the TLDR's music taste was dominated by metal (Hellpenguin) and classic rock (KWSGG/Vailar). Zorg vehemently despised both musical genres at the time and instead touted his shitty fucking music as being the only thing worth listening to. His abrasive nature towards others on the forum made him a polarized poster, some finding his flaming funny and others just considering him the giant asshole loser his is.

As time went on many posters eventually warmed up to Zorg's posting style. Zorg made friends with such posters as Smock (whose fanclub Zorg claimed to head), Nick Lachey (NL) and Pintsized. In the summer of 2006 Zorg and NL began to play a Warcraft 3 custom map called Defense of the Ancients (DotA). Quickly other posters such as Pintsized, Smock and KWSGG joined Zorg and NL, thus creating the "Summer of DotA", which consisted of many late nights of DotAing and listening to the latest indie releases.

Exploits

Zorg has been involved in a few instances of TLDR drama.

Kundalini Chronicles

Main Article: Kundalini Chronicles

Lazrikgate

Main Article: Lazrikgate

Nigger Trifecta

From 2007 to early 2008 the Nigger Trifecta, made up of Shankly, Baph and Clester, terrorized TLDR with their Milton Academy education and supposed intellectual superiority. Zorg awarded Shankly the dubious honor of being the 2008 Azzpoker recipient of Worst Poster, but that still didn't stop the gigantic shitty repetitive threads Shankly was able to coax out of the TLDR. Zorg eventually saw an opening within the Trifecta to unimaginatively do exactly what he had done to Kundalini. The Nigger Trifecta had introduced their down syndromed white slave Fatso to the forum, who stupidly posted the real life name and picture of one of their fellow students, Kate Bator. In a short amount of time Kate Bator's head ended up on an interracial hardcore porn .gif courtesy of forum pedophile Glue and was being sent to her under Zorg's female alter ego Lisa Horowitz. The plan worked and worked fast. In no time Kate Bator had received the .gif, freaked the fuck out and reported the Nigger Trifecta to the school's administration, almost resulting in the loss of some of the most valuable diplomas. Hilariously a forty-something web investigator registered an account on the TLDR under the name Zulu5 PMing Lazrik about the drama. As a result the Nigger Trifecta left TLDR for a while. Though all three have since posted on the TLDR, only Clester and Baph have once again become regular active posters.

Mitsuko Revolution

Main Article: Mitsuko Revolution

Though only playing a minor role in the Mitsuko Revolution, it's notable for reminding everyone that Zorg is still a one giant insidious douchebag. Zorg ended up being a double agent for Lazrik, using Pintsized's trust to gain information of how the Mitsuko Revolution was carried out. Zorg traded this information to Lazrik for modship of the TLDR. At this point in time Zorg remains mod and with Lazrik as admin it is the most power Serbia has had in history.

It is believed that the greatest thing Zorg has ever done for the TLDR is introduce his friend Buble to it.

"That's not true."

-Pint xoxo